Master Plans
by Dragon of Dispair
Summary: g1. crossover "Megatron was thinking that was the most convoluted and downright stupid plan he'd ever heard of..." oneshot.


summary: "megatron was thinking that was the most convoluted and downright _stupid_ plan he'd ever heard of..." -- more crossover crack, now with more megatron!

disclaimer: characters, situations, plot devices and quotes that are recognizable obviously do not belong to me.

warnings: crack.

**Master** **Plans**

Megatron ignored the the sounds behind him that sounded suspiciously like Skywarp snickering. He was just too furious at this ... this mockery of everything the proud Decepticon Empire stood for to bother reprimanding the seeker.

Fuming, he jetted over to the Unicron-sized thing and smashed through what he fervently hoped was the ship's bridge and crashed through the window. Starscream and and his idiot wingmate followed. Absently Megatron wished Starscream would say something blindingly stupid the way he normally did, or even just snicker like Skywarp, so he could have an excuse to blast him, but the red and white seeker was being obediently quiet for once.

With a growl, Megatron and the two seekers landed on the deck plating. He'd expected to see the pitiful little flesh creatures get sucked out into the vacuum of space and die a slightly entertaining death by explosive decompression. Or barring that at least some scurrying away in terror...

Well scurrying he got. It was just too bizarre to be terror -- was that a bear?

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!"

He leveled his fusion cannon at the maggots, expecting an answer. Immediately.

Three of the oddly human shaped cretins Megatron surmised might be the ones in charge fought to volunteer the others to be the one to answer. The odd one in the overly large helmet was pushed and stumbled a few steps closer to the Decepticon leader.

"We," the maggot paused for dramatic effect; Megatron started charging his cannon and it hurried to elaborate, "are SpaceBalls. And we are going to use MegaMaid to suck away all of the Planet Earth's atmosphere, thereby destroying Planet Earth and saving Planet SpaceBall."

Just as Megatron was thinking that was the most convoluted and downright _stupid_ plan he'd ever heard of, there was a small, nearly unnoticeable sound, something like a snort and a grunt laced with distinctive static. Skywarp stopped snickering. Megatron's optic twitched.

Slowly and without allowing the fusion cannon's aim to waver away from the "SpaceBalls", he turned to look at the two seekers. Starscream smirked and Megatron thought, _there's no way he's that much of an idiot._

"Why," Starscream started in his most condescending, patronizing tone, "that is a glorious plan worthy of Mighty Megatron himself, is it not?"

Everything froze.

_Apparently my Air Commander _is_ that much of an idiot._

Then Skywarp howled with laughter, Megatron turned fully to shoot at Starscream and everything went to the Pit.

In a Winnebago with wings hovering somewhere in the vicinity of MegaMaid's right ear, a princess, a scoundrel, a droid and a Mog watched the destruction wreaked by the developing Decepticon brawl. Barf turned to Lonestar and asked, "That ... wasn't in the script, was it?"

"Who cares, let's just get out of here." Dot answered.

later...

Bluestreak and Mirage raced across the desert toward the crash site of the thing they'd watched fall out of the sky. When they got close they slowed to observe -- this could have been a Decepticon trap, or dangerous in a multitude of other ways, after all.

As they watched the small amount of activity at the wrecked -- ship? -- however, Bluestreak just couldn't help but ask: "What are those _things_ coming out of her _nose_?"

fini

note: this is what happens when you have a discussion on the relative competence (or lack there of) of cartoon villains (including, but not limited to, megatron and starscream) with one of your best sounding boards, then watch "spaceballs". essentially, starscream-muse, who is usually elusive enough i occassionally forget he exists, popped up during the end credits and said "that sounded like one of _megatron's_ plans", then bluestreak-muse giggled, and the next thing i knew i had a pencil in my hand... yeah. _so_ not my fault.


End file.
